


Come Hope From the Past

by Galvani26



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Far Future, Fluff and Angst, Lesbians in Space, catra x adora, catradora
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24676741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galvani26/pseuds/Galvani26
Summary: Present-day Adora and Catra reminisce of their past adventures. This particular work focuses on the time they encountered a wormhole and ended up in an alternate universe for several months and how they finally managed to make it back to their own dimension. Lots of Fluff and Angst.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	1. Remembrance

Catra, perched on a nearby rooftop, longingly observed the scorpion children. From time to time, her eyes strayed to the blonde woman trying –and failing– to look casual as she checked on Scorpia and Perfuma’s children. Too many to control up-close... Oh, but if one were to trick them into staying inside a- it was most definitely a pen, but Catra would never admit it - worked wonders.. Regardless, keeping them in an enclosed and somewhat controlled environment, and giving them the false sense of freedom from a watchful eye of an adult… just worked.

Adora had not agreed to leave them be, so she had stayed on ground level. _“Just in case any situation deems my –or She-Ra’s– intervention necessary,”_ she had said. But so far that day, it had not been necessary. Catra argued she could perfectly leap and come to the rescue of any little scorpion in need, but Adora would not budge. Catra found her wife’s overprotectiveness endearing though, and wondered, not for the first time, what would it be like if they had any children of their own?

“I’m definitely never having children.” That had been her exact words to Adora back in the Horde. Back when they lived under Shadow Weaver’s stern eye and constant abuse. 

Healing from all the trauma and damage their so-called mother figure caused had been hard. Not only for Catra, but Adora as well. It hit most of the cadets in their squad to be honest, but they could all agree that the pair had been the ones to suffer the most.

To this day, years after the Horde, years after Horde Prime had almost wiped out the galaxy, both women still suffered from vivid nightmares, though thankfully not as often. Catra spent years with a heavy conscience and nightmares to match the emotional burden of her past mistakes. But as time passed, she gained a sturdy support system that helped her heal and understand that she had truly changed for the better. With time, the ties she thought forever lost to people like Kyle, Lonnie, Rogelio and other former Horde soldiers, were mended and carefully tended. 

She slowly started thinking of people as plants –thanks to Perfuma’s many allegories. Some people needed more time to heal, others, less. Some people enjoyed constant attention while others didn’t. _“But that does not mean you should neglect those plants… er… I mean people”_ Perfuma had reminded Catra. And the latter made sure to engrave those words in her very soul.

But now that Catra and Adora were mostly healed, with scars as reminders, but harmless scars at this point, Catra started reconsidering the whole offspring ordeal. Now that she did not think of herself as irreparably broken anymore, maybe it was not such a bad idea. She was a somewhat decent cat person now, and Adora had finally stopped pursuing her alleged destiny-imposed martyrdom. Now that they had built something great and stable together, perhaps they were ready for a child. Maybe she could right the wrongs Shadow Weaver had done when raising her and Adora but it was beyond that at this point. She wanted to have someone to love, and care for. Someone to pour her love in and watch flourish like one of Perfuma’s flowers. Also, kids just had this unique view of the world, and in a way she was curious what it would be like to experience the world as a loved and cared for child, even if just as an spectator. 

Of course the idea terrified Catra. Some of the self-doubt resurfaced when faced with the possibility of having to be responsible for another life. So many variables, possibilities, and choices… It overwhelmed her. She had been trying to bring the topic to Adora’s attention for a while now. But despite having all the time in the world, it seemed like they did not have the time to discuss that particular topic. It’s not that they completely avoided it either, it was more like they never discussed it properly. They had mostly agreed that a child would be a nice addition to the family. She-Ra’s noble steed could perhaps stop droning on about needing a mate (hopefully no more than a jest) and focus on tiny Adoras and Catras running around bugging him day and night. Melog would specifically love to be a full-time babysitter, they were already great with the eight scorplings running around beneath her.

“Careful now, Spencer” she heard Adora scold and was brought back to reality. The scorpling in question, slightly taller and broader than the rest of the brood, froze. His freckled face and white-blonde hair plastered to his forehead immediately went from a mischievous grin to an innocent smile. His stinger, however, remained overhead, ready to strike.

“Aunt Adora, she started it” pouted Spencer. 

_Something is off._ Thought Catra. _Spencer’s stinger is not relaxing. Neither is Suncup’s._ Before she knew it, she was running at full speed towards the children. Melog appeared by her side as soon as she reached the ground. She could almost see it in slow motion: Suncup’s stinger twitching, and Spencer’s was almost mid-strike. Would she make it?

Catra’s unconscious body was caught by her wife before she hit the ground. No one seemed to know who’s stinger had struck at first. But after the initial shock of what had happened, Spencer broke down in tears. Suncup soon joined. Both felt like they had been responsible for the accident, and were no longer eager to test who’s sting would be stronger. Melog padded to them and started purring, hoping to pacify the two. Swiftwind, summoned by Adora’s distress, flew down and immediately took off again to go find Scorpia, or Perfuma, or any responsible adult who would be able to deal with the children. 

Adora tried depositing Catra in the most comfortable position, using her newly transformed sword, now a pillow, as a headrest. The scorplings had all gathered around the couple and were staring with fear and despair in their eyes.

“Is she dead?” croaked Spencer between sobs.

“No, buddy, she’s just sleeping, she’ll wake up soon, don’t worry” reassured him the blonde. She had never dealt with this kind of thing before. Even when the kids got rowdy, they had always known better than to use the stingers… She could not remember if Scorpia had said anything about how to deal with this kind of incident… For a second she hesitated, how could she break this tense silence?

“Aunty is WRONG” bellowed Suncup, breaking up again, “you KILLED Aunt Catra. She’s not moving! She’s DEAD because of YOU!” 

Her words had an immediate effect on the rest of the brood. As if on cue, they all started getting teary eyed. Melog wrapped their body around as many as they could but Adora could see the split second of panic in their eyes before it started to calm the children down again.

“Hey kids, listen up” she said. “Don’t you worry- Hey, Spencer, look at me, hey-” she put a hand on his small shoulder, still tender from the recent molt. “You didn’t kill anyone, no one killed anyone, okay?” The tear stained faces looked up at her, but she could still sense they did not completely believe her. “Aunt Catra will wake up soon, I promise”.

“But… But she’s not moving!” insisted Suncup.

“But, here, come sweety” said Adora, taking one of Suncup’s pincers, and guiding it towards Catra’s body. “Can you feel how her chest is moving?” Suncup nodded, light curls bouncing on her small head. “That’s because she’s breathing, and as long as she still breathes, she’s still alive”.

Adora felt silly saying those words. She then remembered little children did not always think the way she did, so she just hoped her words served as comfort. Most of them looked uncertain, but Catra would soon wake and hopefully all will be forgotten… That reminded her…

“Spencer, Suncup, I would like to talk to you please.” They both nodded. “Melog, please look after them while I talk to them” she added and the alien cat nodded and rounded up the remaining children. As Adora glanced in their direction, she could see them checking for Catra’s breathing. She only hoped Catra would not get startled when she woke and found six scorplings crawling all over her.

“Aunt Adora,” said Suncup, shily, “I’m sorry I shouted like that. And I am also sorry for picking up fights with Spencer. And I’m sorry I hurt Aunt Catra and made her go to sleep.”

“I am sorry as well, Aunt Adora!” said Spencer with as much conviction as he could muster. The regret was plain in the siblings’ eyes, dark as their mothers’.

“Yeah, I know” whispered Adora. A shadow seemed to cross her face for a split second, but it was gone as soon as it had come. “Have you and your Mum ever talked about the stinger situation?” she asked softly. 

“Kind of…” answered Suncup. 

“She always tells us never to use it, because it is very dangerous” added Spencer and it only made Adora’s heart ache for him. He looked like the reminder only hurt him more than he already did.

“Then I am sure you will remember her advice next time… But, hey, listen” she told the siblings, “this was only an accident, okay? Accidents happen all the time. You just have to be more careful from now on so that it doesn’t happen again, and apologise to Aunt Catra once she wakes up… And don’t worry, she will be perfectly fine.”

Spencer and Suncup still had sombre looks but they had begun to cheer up as well. Adora was sure that they would stop worrying once Catra woke up, but just in case that wouldn’t be enough she added: “Also, we all make mistakes all the time. We just have to learn to accept them and try to be better by not making the same mistakes again.”

“We also have to apologise…”chimed in Suncup. “But most mistakes are not hurting your Aunt Catra” she added and Spencer nodded in agreement. Adora could not blame them. They were too young and innocent to know the ways of the world. Too young to know about the horrors of the war and even the struggles to build the world they lived in right now. That had to stay that way. 

“Yeah like Mom always tells us to learn from our mistakes, like not to lick the frozen ice cream spoon, but no one gets hurt that way” added Spencer.

“Oh but as you grow up, you will find that sometimes you hurt other people, even if you don’t mean to.” And Adora knew a lot about hurting loved ones without intending to... “Okay I will tell you a secret, but don’t tell Aunt Catra that I told you, okay?”

“Okay!” The children perked up at this conspiracy. Perhaps the affirmation that Catra would be around later to not tell the secret to, comforted them as well.

“So, one day, Aunt Catra and I were playing tag out by the hills...We were running very fast and having fun, just like you guys were just a moment ago. But because we were running very fast, I crashed into Aunt Catra” Adora mimicked the impact with her hands and a small smile danced in her lips when remembering the scene. “We ended up falling to the ground, and rolling down the hill.” A fit of laughter had overtaken the three of them as Adora made faces which -according to her- resembled the faces Catra and herself had made as they rolled down the hill. 

“We got hurt, alright” concluded Adora still recalling how despite the bruises and small cuts, they had been giggling nonstop. “But after that, we were more caref-”

The children were no longer paying attention. Adora turned to see what had caught their attention. Catra was beginning to stir. She went to her wife and held her hand as the scorplings surrounded them. Just as Catra opened her eyes, Adora caressed her face hoping to hide Catra’s slight flinch. When Catra got startled like she was then, her hair and fur puffed up in a rather lovable manner. But at that moment it might’ve sent the wrong message.

Shortly after Catra had regained consciousness, Scorpia arrived with Swiftwind, still holding a cup of wine. After a very concerned -and possibly bone crushing- bear hug, Scorpia had made sure Catra was alright and offered to end her date and go home with the children. Both Adora and Catra assured Scorpia that they were alright and would rather Scorpia and Perfuma continue their tryst as initially planned.

“Alright you two… but really... Are you sure it’s okay for me to just… leave? Will you be alright?” Insisted Scorpia one last time. Adora and Catra smiled.

“Yeah, sure don’t worry about us” said Catra reassuringly.

“Okay, Wildcat. I trust you guys” said Scorpia and turned to her children. “And don’t you children think you will get away with this, we’ll talk when we’re home.”

Once the children were home, Catra, Melog, and Adora wandered the empty path. Swiftwind had gotten a telling off for having gotten Scorpia of all people. He argued that it was only logical to get their mother, and that was that.

“You know, I wish Scorpia isn’t too hard on the kids,” said Catra, her gaze lost in the horizon. She had insisted several times that it had only been an accident, and either way she was fine, so what was the point of like… whatever Scorpia was going to do.

“Oh they’ll be fine, Catra, it’s _Scorpia and Perfuma_. Worst case scenario they will have some chores and no ice cream for like… two days” replied Adora and they both laughed. It was true after all…

“Yeah… Hey, Adora” said Catra softly, it was more a question than an affirmation.

“Hmm?” Adora hummed in return.

“Do you think we could like-”

“Oh have children? Yeah definitely! Not eight though… that’s like too much to handle… and definitely no stingers” she joked. 

“No, but like seriously… like I don’t know visit an orphanage or something…” suggested Catra still on the fence about where this conversation was going.

“Oh” Adora’s eyes softened and Catra could see, what she had learned to be love, in her eyes. “Yes of course we can, Catra… I would love to in fact, it has crossed my mind before…”

The silence that followed was as if it had been an unspoken conversation. All their hopes and insecurities about a child… They shared most of them. They might have not known what exactly the other was thinking but they were on the same wavelength. 

“You know… I would really want… someone like… me… “ said Catra after a while. “A child I mean.”

“Oh that would be so cute! Like, remember when you were little and used to sleep in the cardboard box until I finally convinced you to try the bed?” 

“Ha. Ha. Ha. How funny, Adora” her words were sarcastic but she was not mad. 

“Oh I’m hilarious” replied to Adora and it earned her a peck on the lips. Just to wipe out the smugness of them. “But on a more serious note… I may or may not have pestered Shadow Weaver about your origin and stuff as a child…”

“Oh of course you have, you idiot” said Catra with a smile. “You’ve been stalking me even from such a young age, huh? Have you like, fallen in love with me the second you saw me or something?”

“You know I have, my love” said Adora dramatically as her smile grew.

“Lame.”

“Oh shut up, as if you didn’t almost end the world because you could not have me. Anyways… as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted… I asked about where you came from and Shadow Weaver said that your family had been killed by the Horde, as you already knew. But” she dragged the word for dramatic effect and Catra’s ears perked at this. “What you don’t know is that you have family like… a couple galaxies over… Well, to be completely honest I cannot know if they are like, still alive but, maybe we can ask Entrapta to-”

“To blow up a spaceship and take us there?”

“Yeah, it will be fun! Minus the whole blowing up bit, of course” said Adora hugging her wife. 

“Oh yeah because that has worked out so well in the past… Maybe like just visit an orphanage, love-”

“Catra Applesauce Meowmeow. Did you just- Did you just call me… _love_?” interrupted Adora blushing to the tip of her ears. “After six years of marriage… a literal lifetime of flirting and you just called me-”

“Oh shut up, you idiot” said Catra, a bit disappointed really, “I was just trying out something new…” she mumbled, only half hoping Adora would not catch it. She did. Of course she did. But she said nothing. So Catra continued. “I’m just saying I would not like to end up in a what’s it again? Black hole? Wormhole? My ar-”

“A wormhole, silly!” laughed Adora. “It was a wormhole.”

“Yeah well whatever, I don’t want to experience that ever again, thank you very much.”

“I mean… ideally I wouldn’t either, but a cute little kitten like you would most definitely be worth it, _love._ “

They were right. The wormhole adventure had not been entirely pleasant, but it was quite an adventure, which is why the memory of it could never be lost to them. Not that it ever would, since Entrapta had a detailed compilation about their experience recorded and safely stored. But it was one of those stories that sticks with someone forever. Parts of it might resurface while drinking with friends, but the overall experience could never be merely expressed in words. It was intense and extraordinary like that.


	2. After the War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Best Friend Squad deals with rebuilding after the war and working on their plans to bring back magic to the universe. Entrapta and Hordak join Adora, Bow, Catra, Glimmer, and Melog in their intergalactic journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I wanted to thank you all for reading! Just as a side note, I wanted to mention that this chapter is set in the past in relation to the first chapter. From now on, the chapters will be in chronological order, but I just wanted to give you all a heads up about the change in time. I hope you enjoy, and thanks again for reading my fic.

After Horde Prime was gone, the Best Friend squad had spent around a year in Etheria. Between rebuilding the towns affected by both Hordak and Horde Prime’s conquering rampage, and rehoming the clones, the four of them had their hands full. King Micah had agreed to take the throne officially, which relieved Glimmer from her queen duties and allowed her some of the freedom she missed so much. She had planned to join the others in the quest to bring back magic to the rest of the universe, but they really had no clue of how the whole thing was going to work out.

During this time, Catra had embarked upon her quest to make amends to everyone she had wronged. It was quite difficult, especially since she had done so much damage and most of it was irreparable as well. Salineas, Queen Angella, the nameless victims in all the towns and villages she helped destroy… Sometimes it became too much for her, and during the night she would not sleep. Melog would come into the room to try to comfort her, but not much was accomplished. Adora would stay up with Catra as well, telling her that she would do whatever Catra needed to get better, but Catra was not ready for that conversation yet. Adora never pushed further, but would sometimes fall asleep hugging Catra. The latter felt guilty for her inability to open up and for keeping Adora up after the tedious work they had to endure during the day.

Catra had needed to redirect her pent up energy a lot during the first few months in Etheria. There had been a lot of frustration, guilt, and lots of other unrecognised -but mostly negative- emotions when she was trying to make amends. Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio for once, refused to talk to her and she never heard from them again. She knew they had deserted the Horde and gone to the Crimson Waste, but that was all she knew. Mermista, on the other hand, stayed. Some days, Catra wished she could just run far away and never see her face again. Mermista had been angry, alright. She would exit the room whenever Catra entered, and the latter could not blame her. 

Usually when that happened, Catra would leave Adora and wonder alone in the castle grounds. That is until she found Frosta, Netossa, and Spinnerella in the middle of an ice ball match one day. Frosta was one player short but wasnmysteriously winning by a significant amount of points. Catra just watched until Netossa had asked if she’d like to join them. Catra would not accept at first, but reconsidered once she saw Mermista storming off again. She joined Spinnerella and got a handful of very aggressively tossed ice balls from Frosta to the face before she started getting the hang of the game. It had become a sort of ritual for them to play just before dusk -whenever the four of them found themselves in Bright Moon that is-. After a while, Catra and Frosta would play against each other even if the older women were not in Bright Moon. Sometimes Frosta would awkwardly try to hold a conversation with Catra outside these games, but it had been clear that there were unresolved issues still. 

During one of the one-on-one matches between Catra and Frosta, Frosta decided it was about time to tell her opponent what was on her mind. That particular match was hard on Catra, but after a lengthy conversation in the midst of aggressive ball hitting, both of them found peace. Frosta even started hugging Catra after some time… and it surprisingly felt nice… She started to think that perhaps she could make amends with Mermista someday, even if it took years. 

After everything had been sorted: housing, repairs, food distribution and a way to deal with the trauma of war; Adora, Bow, Catra, and Glimmer started planning their intergalactic journey. Entrapta was present in most of the planning meetings, as was Hordak. After three months they had a fleet of five spaceships, assembled from the remains of Prime’s ships. Entrapta assured them that the new vessels would be able to endure the worst of space, but Catra could have sworn she heard something about deadly stars, quasars, and black holes. The words did not sound familiar, but given that Adora had been distractedly stroking her arm, she could not have caught Entrapta’s exact words even if she had wanted to. Either no one else had heard it or they ignored Entrapta’s muttering, so Catra quickly forgot about it.

They had first gone to Eridani because they had hoped to find the Star siblings and find out more about the worlds they had journeyed to. Since it had been the first planet they had ever visited, it was mostly a trial-and-error kind of quest. Adora spent her days trying to figure out how to give Eridani its magic back, while Glimmer, Bow, Catra, and Melog explored the planet. Entrapta and Hordak always stayed behind to tamper with the ship in hopes new upgrades could be made. Catra always insisted that she could guard Adora, but Adora did not need any guarding. The Eridanians were used to extraplanetary visitors, and though they were extremely cautious around Hordak, they did not question his presence once they found out he was with She-Ra. 

Bow had been tasked with collecting data about the planet and its inhabitants. His recordings were not as detailed as Entrapta would have wanted, but she figured it was because of Bow’s inexperience with a recorded log. The woman was sure that with time, Bow would provide her with sufficient data to have a proper report of future planets. Meanwhile, Catra and Glimmer bonded over their long excursions. Catra would not admit it at first but Melog was always the tell-tale sign that Glimmer and Catra had grown closer. They usually napped by Glimmer’s feet during meals and was often found asking for her attention. It would take some time for Catra to admit this to anyone, but it seemed like Glimmer was the one other person who understood her because of how they had fucked up. Entrapta was a close second, but Catra still struggled with having a heart to heart with the scientist. Her guilt had been too great, and though she was trying to make up for her past mistakes, Entrapta had been one of the things she could not bring herself to deal with yet. 

The whole Angella situation seemed to be an unspoken taboo between Catra and Glimmer. Glimmer thought Catra would just distance herself from them if they were to ever discuss the death of her mother, and she was not entirely wrong. Catra had so much to deal with while getting used to this new life, that she tried to push down everything that might serve as a trigger. She had said she was sorry of course, she just had not discussed with enough detail what exactly she was sorry for. Catra just hoped that she would soon be able to apologise properly for what she had done. Glimmer had turned out to be a great friend after all, and Catra did not want to lose that cherished friendship. 

Bow turned out to be an incredibly good and supportive friend as well. Catra could see why Adora had stuck with them from the start. She no longer thought of them as the thieves that stole Adora away, but the memory of how she had felt when Adora deserted still stung. Everything she had done because of her inability to cope with Adora’s loss weighed her down incredibly, and she was unsure as to what to do about it. Perhaps she should have taken Perfuma’s offer to help through meditation, but to be fair, while they were in Bright Moon she had spent most of her free time with Adora. She also occasionally went out with Scorpia and Perfuma, but after a while she started feeling like a third wheel and opted to try out the “Ice-ball” thing Frosta always droned about, which had actually been an entertaining activity to blow off some steam.

Eventually, Adora figured out how to unleash Eridani’s magic. They stayed there for a couple of weeks afterwards upon Entrapta’s request. She had gone to get some samples from a mineral ore a few days’ trip from where they were staying, and she took Hordak with her. Adora and Catra finally had some time alone during this time, and Catra suspected that Adora’s daily surprises had something to do with Glimmer and Bow being away most of the day, and returning with mischievous expressions and oddly shaped rations. She was not complaining though, after everything they had gone through, it was nice having the woman she loved by her side reminding her she was loved every day. It was also nice being able to revert to her old ways of shamelessly flirting with the blonde until she got what she wanted.

But soon all the days of laying back and enjoying their time together were over and they had gone back to the spaceship. This time their destination had been Aquarii. The tasks were divided just as they had been back in Eridani, but this time, Adora had a better idea of how the whole “bringing back magic to the planet” worked and they were done sooner. Aquarii, however, had been quite an interesting stop in their quest because of what had happened there.

The first big revelation they had there was that they would be going back to Etheria to part ways. Entrapta had found out that in a nearby galaxy, there was an important group of astrophysicists that was experimenting with wormholes to make space travel more efficient. 

“Entrapta, are you _sure_ you want to be messing with such things? I mean from what I’ve heard they’re merely theoretical…” Bow had said, doubt clear in his face.

“No, Bow you don’t understand. This is HUGE” said Entrapta, her excitement nearly possessing her. “Wormholes have remained theoretical solely because they haven’t been sighted yet. But you see, they are invisible, so they cannot be seen! Such an enigma is every scientist’s dream. Imagine discovering one! All the data would revolutionise the laws of physics! It could make space travel so much easier!” 

“But… Aren’t they dangerous?” insisted Bow. “What if something goes wrong and you end up-”

“OF COURSE they’re dangerous! That’s what makes them so fascinating. They are a fold in spacetime! It warps both space _and_ time. The people in Aquarii call it an Einstein Rosen Bridge, actually, but I’m not sure where they got the name from… Anyways, it’s the secret second solution to the Theory of Gravity-”

“The first one is the Black hole, which _does_ exist” added Hordak with what sounded like a scoff.

“Yes! The scientists here believe wormholes might actually be part of blackholes, or that blackholes are the entry points of wormholes. But actually that does not make much sense… blackholes do emit enough energy for that, but there is no actual evidence that it is part of a fold in spacetime…” Entrapta’s hair scratches her chin thoughtfully. She looked up and found Adora, Glimmer, and Catra staring blankly at her, not having understood a word she said. “Oh uhm… it’s kind of like the portal I told you not to activate, Catra” she said. Catra’s face fell and Adora instinctively gave her a reassuring hand squeeze. “Except it‘s highly unstable and even the smallest atom could cause it to collapse. All of this is purely theoretical of course, which means it could be the complete opposite!”

“And are you completely sure you want to mess with something so… uhm… deadly?” Asked Glimmer shooting a sideways questioning look to Bow, which seemed he had lost his will to question Entrapta at this point.

“Yes, but not just for science… Glimmer, if we discover the secrets of wormholes, we could reverse engineer the portal and maybe…”

“Maybe we can get Sparkles’s mom” said Catra absentmindedly.

Hours later, Adora and Catra found themselves enjoying the view from an uninhabited planet. Entrapta had told them the name of it, but they could not remember. They were in their spacesuits due to the atmosphere being 95% nitrogen though, which meant it was not safe for them to take the suits off. Catra lay curled around Adora as they watched the heavy golden clouds reflected on the icy blue lake beneath them.

“How are you doing, Catra?” asked Adora in a soft voice.

“Not great to be honest… I am still not ready to talk about Sparkles’s mom though…”

“That’s okay… I just want you to know I’m here for you” said Adora, but her voice had changed. Catra knew why.

“You know, if it was anyone’s fault it’s mine, Adora. I was the one who pulled the switch” said Catra as she tried to hide the tears in her eyes. Her flicking tail had settled close to her body, and her ears flattened close to her head. Her purr however took Adora by surprise.

“You might’ve pulled the lever but I let her stay there and sacrifice herself for me. If only I had convinced her to come along...”

“It’s pointless to dwell on such things, dummy” said Catra, her voice a low purr. “Besides who was going to save the universe if you had stayed behind.”

“Well I am guessing you would have had to realise you were hopelessly in love with me and join the rebellion. Probably then Glimmer and the others would convince you to fight for what’s right, and you’d defeat Prime in the honor of my memory.”

“Oh I would never!” said Catra with a faint smile. “But…” she said all traces of the smile gone, “I would not want to live in a world without you in it… I could never. Just having you-” she was interrupted by the small collision of both of their helmets.

Adora broke down in laughter and Catra could not figure out what was going on. Adora’s laugh was contagious though, and soon Catra started laughing as well.

“It’s just” Adora started once the laughter had died down. “Who would’ve guessed you’re such a sap!”

“Am not!” argued Catra, blushing.

“Oh you are, and I suppose that just makes me love you even more.” Suddenly shy, Adora blushed and sought Catra’s eyes. 

“And you were making fun of me because I opened up with you like this?” said Catra, not sure what had triggered the laughing bit.

“Oh _that_ no, no, of course not!” said Adora with a chuckle. “I was going to kiss you, but I forgot we had these stupid things on” she pointed to the space suits.

“Oh, you’re such an idiot” was all Catra managed to say, turning even a brighter shade of red. “But for the record, I love you too, Adora.”

“Oh that reminds me… According to Entrapta there’s this thing that happens in a far away galaxy, where people have a special ‘Day of the Lovers’ I think it was.” 

“So, is that what we are? Lovers?”

“Well, it’s supposed to be around this time of the year, you know, and I just figured, since we are together anyways… I wondered if you would like to.. You know…”

“Come on, get on with it, Adora, what is it?”

“Wouldyouwantobemygirlfriend?” blurted out Adora, her face the colour of garnets. “Wait, what?”

“Well, I’m just saying, we’re already basically dating, I just figured… But if you don’t want to that’s completely fine too…” with a look of disappointment, exaggerated gesticulations and, as impossible as it seemed, a more intense blush, Adora tried to avoid Catra’s eyes now.

“Oh. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend! I thought we already… you know… implicitly agreed on that” her voice suggested it had been a question. This time, Catra leaned in for a kiss, but their helmets collided again and a snickering was heard from behind them.

Catra jumped back. If Entrapta had not added the protective fabric over her tail, it would’ve puffed up. Thankfully, the toxic -yet beautiful- atmosphere had saved her one of Bow and Adora’s scenes of incessant exclamations of how cute and adorable she was. 

“Is it done?” asked Glimmer, struggling to hide her smile. “Did you ask her?”

“Of course she did, just look at them all flustered and cute” cooed Bow with sparkling eyes. Catra rolled her eyes and tried to regain her composure.

“Of course, it’s all a plot against me, isn’t it? I should’ve known you would’ve ganged up on me again” complained Catra. “And let me guess, you’ve caught it all on video, haven’t you?”

“How did you-”

“WHAT? You actually did? Can I see?” asked Adora excitedly. She ran to Bow who held his recently upgraded tablet out to her.

“Oh no, that’s definitely not happening” proclaimed Catra and dashed behind Adora. She was secretly hoping she could see the video before Adora so she could act calm, cool, and collected when her girlfriend watched it. 

Catra took off at full speed, snatching the tablet from Bow’s hands and ignoring their loud complaints. She raced to the spaceship and almost ran into Hordak, who was welding something by the door. A chill ran down her spine as she saw his frown and for an instant, she was back in the forge, running from the deadly beams he had shot at her. 

“HEY, CATRA, GIVE THAT BACK” she heard Adora, not far behind. Catra apologised and continued to run, quickly peeling away the spacesuits once inside the inner chamber of the vessel. She heard several helmets roll and she knew they had almost caught up. Adora pounced and knocked Catra over, landing over her. The tablet slid away, but Adora reached for Catra instead, and they both finally got the kiss they longed for minutes ago. 


	3. Cygnus Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Best Friend Squad head to the Cygnus Constellation with Entrapta and her crew. While Entrapta goes to Cygnus X-1 to study black holes and wormholes, The Best Friend Squad heads to Venari, a planet in the Tabby's Star system.

Everyone returned to Etheria after their time in Aquarii. Entrapta had announced they would be heading to the Cygnus Constellation next. Hordak, Entrapta and a newly assembled crew of clones would be headed to Cygnus X-1, a binary star with an important x-ray emission. A space station has been set up as close as possible to the black hole in Cygnus X-1 to study the behaviour of the accreting remains of a dead star. Entrapta’s Team would head to the station and spend a couple of months studying the black hole and finding out more about wormholes. Entrapta had argued that even a lifetime would not be enough to discover the secrets of the universe, but cheered up when told that any other information that would help improve Etherian technology was welcomed.

Only days away from the departure, Entrapta came to the Best Friend Squad looking elated. It had been rare to see her by herself ever since they arrived back on their home planet, since she had been readying their ships for the upcoming journey. It was a considerably longer distance to be travelled, and as such, Entrapta had insisted on making more powerful propellers and upgrading to a more efficient power source.

“Hello! WH-307 has notified me that you are still unsure as to where to head next. I think I can assist you on this quandary if you don’t mind me suggesting a destination.”

“Uhm… and who or what exactly _is_ WH-307?” asked Bow, and Entrapta seemed a bit put off. She mumbled something no one really quite understood in her recorded log.

“Oh, that would be Wrong Hordak Number 307. Since we haven’t named them all, and some of them keep changing their names, Hordak and I have created an interface for each of them to access, similar to the hive mind, to ease their transition into civilian life. The interface allows them to update their names, pronouns, occupations, likes, and dislikes. Most of them have settled for names at this point, but WH-307 has recently experienced an existential crisis and dropped their name and identity…”

“Well, that sounds fun” scoffed Catra. “But I thought we would just ride along with you guys and go bring back magic to the nearest inhabited planet.”

“‘Funnily enough’,” Entrapta’s hair drew air quotes, “Darla’s interface referenced you, Catra, when suggesting a new destination for the additional team.” 

“And what’s that weirdly sentient interface got to say about me, huh?” asked Catra, just as baffled as the rest of the group.

“Oh nothing much, except that she’d very much appreciate you not scratching and denting her surface. Regardless, her suggestion was mostly an allusion to similar qualities between the star system and yourself per se… though now that I think of it maybe Darla didn’t catch the connection” Entrapta smiled to herself, probably planning to talk to Darla after this conversation. “You see, not too far from Cygnus X-1, there’s this star system. It’s called Tabby’s Star, and I only thought, since Catra possesses many cat attributes it would be fun to visit. I only found it when I asked Darla to list all the-” one look at the quartet and Entrapta knew to simplify her vocabulary for what followed. “Well, I asked her to identify any ‘weird spacey stuff’ in the galaxy where we’re headed and Tabby’s Star was high up in the list. Its irregular luminosity makes it quite an enigma if I’m being honest, though it is probably a Dyson swarm trying to harvest the raw energy of the celestial body. Since Venari is the only inhabited planet near the star, you could head there, give its magic back, and then wait for someone from my team to go meet you with new coordinates. I’ll be sending Vincent to Tabby’s Star anyways, so you should just wait for him to go to Venari and then you can travel back in a single ship.”

They had settled for Entrapta’s plan and set off in what had once been Mara’s ship before the hundreds of upgrades. It could have been a completely new ship as well, it barely -if at all- resembled the original vessel. But Entrapta had grown fond of Darla and decided to expand using the original ship’s materials instead. Now it held two smaller ships inside and had enough living quarters to house the twelve of them. There had been room sharing, of course, but at this point, Catra and Adora were used to sharing a bed, as were Bow and Glimmer. 

The days and nights were long and mostly uneventful. A few days after entering the Cygnus Constellation, the Day Simulator malfunctioned and they were stuck with only the artificial lighting and the distant stars around them. This sudden change affected the etherians -and Adora and Catra- most. Melog did not seem to mind and nor did the clones and Hordak. Keeping track of time had become a lot harder after that though. 

Catra was still not entirely comfortable with the clones, but she tried her best to hide it. Although her hair had grown back, and the scar in the back of her neck was nearly indistinguishable, she had not entirely healed. Spending so much time with them in an enclosed space and the lack of privacy put her on edge sometimes. On one such occasion, she had retreated to the living quarters in the middle of a game of charades with Melog following close behind her. Catra had jumped when she heard the light footsteps approaching her hiding space.

“Catra?” Adora whispered into the dark. She had not turned the lights so she would not disturb her girlfriend. Catra remained quiet. She had been perched on an overhanging bit of the air ducts. “I will just hang here for a little if you don’t mind…” she added as she sat on the bed and was immediately joined by Melog.

A few minutes later, Catra joined Adora and Melog in their bed. The blonde seemed distressed, but Catra could not figure out why that was. _Did something happen?_ She thought. _You should probably ask her._ Melog replied.

“Hey, Adora, are you okay? Is everything alright?”

“Uhh… I’m the one who should be asking that,” replied Adora with a faint smile. “You’re the one who ran off just as the game started getting interesting.”

“Oh sure, the clones were beating our ass, you idiot. We could not have put up a fight even if we wanted to,” said Catra. A small part of her wished they could continue to talk about unimportant matters, but Adora’s expression worried her. 

“No, but seriously, are you…” she trailed off.

“I’ll be alright, don’t worry” said Catra softly and rested her head on Adora's shoulder. “But do you want to talk about what’s troubling you?” Catra felt odd uttering those words, but Perfuma had said it sometimes helped.

“Only if you do. And-” Adora said before Catra could respond. “You get to go first.”

“Alright… Uhm… I guess” Catra started awkwardly. “I guess it’s just Vincent and Beth speaking at the same time… it just brought back unpleasant memories that’s all.”

“DId you remember when they-”

“Yeah when they were going to chip me. They all started chanting and it all just reminded me of that I guess...” replied Catra and Adora embraced her. They stayed there for a while, Adora stroking Catra’s arm as they hugged. Adora traced shapeless patterns on the velvety fur. Its feathery texture was therapeutic, and the low purrs that soon followed made Adora certain that whatever she had been upset by earlier had no real importance. Or perhaps it was just that Catra’s purrs and incredibly soft fur held secret healing powers that could rival She- Ra’s.

“Hey, girlfriend, did you know your fur is incredibly soft?” Whispered Adora and Catra got incredibly abashed instantly.

“First of all, why do you insist on calling me ‘girlfriend’ still? Is my name not good enough?” replied Catra defensively. She loved it when Adora called her that, but it had never failed her to extremely fluster her. “Also, you said you’d also share what’s on your mind…”

“Well, when you left so suddenly, they all started arguing on who to blame. I suppose we’re just a little bit on edge after so much time together, but I felt… detached somehow, I don’t think I know exactly what I’m feeling. Part of me wanted to stay there, another part of me just wanted to hit stuff… But I mostly just wanted to come check on you and get some time for myself. Well, I suppose ourselves, but-” 

“Adora? Catra? There you are! I have been notified by Darla that there’s a radio signal that has attempted to contact us. Maybe you should come join us to sort it out in case it gets hostile. Not that it will, I think they just want to talk, but Hordak suggested-”

“Yeah alright, we’re coming” interrupted Catra, a hint of fear in her voice.

As it turned out, a nearby ship had been trying to contact the crew in Mara’s ship to announce it was a part of a scouting team for Urania Space Station and meant no harm. They had agreed on letting Entrapta’s team go with the scout to the Space Station, while the Best Friend Squad would set course to Venari. As they said their goodbyes, Entrapta instructed on how to use the ship’s communication gadgets and linked it to Darla’s so she would be able to instantly pick up on any distress signals or dangerous environments. This was mostly done to bring Bow some sense of comfort. He had been incredibly anxious about having to navigate the ship without Entrapta around.

When they finally parted ways, Bow waited two whole hours before contacting Entrapta under the pretense of checking if the whole thing worked properly. But as time passed, Bow grew more confident and the calls to Entrapta were not as often. He did panic and call her just before Vincent left though. He tried releasing the shuttle Vincent was supposed to travel in, but instead activated the propellers.

“I swear, Entrapta, the button was labelled ‘Release Escape Pod’, but then Vincent told me nothing was happening, and all of a sudden the propellers are on at top speed and Adora had to talk to the interface because for some reason it had asked for security clearance and none of us knew what to do.”

“Oh that must’ve been my mistake, sorry” Entrapta answered from the screen with an apologetic smile. “You’ve got Cyrilla haven’t you.” She did not expect an answer as she paused. “Check to your right, Bow, the control panel should have a button for the disposal of residues. Right next to it are several untagged buttons. One of them should do the trick.”

“Why would you-”Bow shook his head. “More importantly could you maybe think back and try to remember which button was it? So you know, we don’t accidentally press the self destruct button and all.” Vincent’s face appeared on the screen.

“Is there a problem, brothers? Do you need my assistance? I would gladly-”

“No, It’s alright Vincent. Don’t worry. Entrapta is helping us out.”

“Oh right, try the second one to the left” said Entrapta. Bow pressed the button and for a tense moment nothing happened. A mysterious hum was heard, and Vincent looked back. Soon they saw the shuttle pass them on their left and caught a glimpse of Vincent flashing a smile with a thumbs up.

“It was a success, brothers! See you in… an indefinite amount of time!” With a little wave, Vincent hung up the call. 

Not long after Vincent had left, Bow summoned everyone in the main chamber. The ship’s sensors had gone off all of a sudden indicating extremely high levels of radiation and an electromagnetic pulse. The latter pushed them way off course at first, but was now beginning to pull them in.

“I have called Entrapta seven times now, but she is not picking up! I also tried contacting Vincent with no luck.” The panic was evident in his voice. “I think whatever this thing tampering with the communication channels is interfering with the steering of the ship as well” he tried to sound calm but his voice failed him.

“Maybe we can try contacting Entrapta again?” suggested Glimmer, but no one really knew what to do. Melog began pacing back and forth and loudly vocalising. Catra seemed to be closely listening to them while Bow, Glimmer, and Adora tried to call Entrapta. 

“Guys, Melog says they might know what this is…” said Catra with a crestfallen face. The trio facing the screen turned around expectantly. “They say that their people had heard rumours of the Devil’s Mouth from the colonisers of their land. A hungry monster that devoured any and everything in its path, ripping it apart before erasing them from this plane of existing.” 

Just then the screen behind them flashed and a very pixelated face appeared. Seconds later, Entrapta’s face was clear and they could all see red flares and alarms going on in the background. They could not quite make out what their friend was trying to tell them over the deafening alarms. She seemed to figure out that they could not really hear her and she looked down as her hair typed something on an invisible keyboard. 

“Can you guys hear me now?” Entrapta screamed into the microphone. The five of them nodded. “Okay great, because we don't have much time. A rather big problem has arisen here at the Urania Space Station in their third wormhole trial. They tried to make one in the lab where I’m at, using some suggestions I provided about the portal machines back in Etheria. However something has gone terribly wrong and we can’t figure out what it is.” She talked fast, and although the alarms in the background could still be heard, her voice came through loud and clear.

‘We just managed to make a wormhole the size of an apple, but then something went wrong and we lost control. The wormhole collapsed and disappeared, but we started getting crazy radiation and energy readings. We just got the coordinates and one of the sources -yes, there are multiple- of such amount of destructive energy is actually very near the Tabby’s Star. I could not contact Vincent and I just now saw the multiple distress calls-”

“YES” said Bow and he seemed to be about to pass out. Adora took over then.

“Hi, Entrapta, so, you see, we tried contacting you as well as Vincent but none of you were picking up. Bow has told us that the sensors picked up on a spike in radiation and that a electromagnetic pulse violently pushed us away, but now it’s drawing us in.”

“Melog also started talking about a Devil’s Mouth that rips shit appart before swallowing it into oblivion” interjected Catra. Melog meowed loudly in complaint. “Sorry, he said that it devoured any and everything in its path, ripping it apart before erasing them from this plane of existing. Could this by any chance be the thing that’s fucking us up or is this just a very funny prank?”

“Oh no… I think… I think Melog is right. Maybe the wormhole violently damaged the spacetime continuum, and as a result some stars collapsed. It is very likely the nearest star to you has collapsed and created a wormhole, you have to get out of there NOW. Hang on I will access the frontal cameras to see what we’re dealing with” she said as she seemed to call for someone off screen.

“Entrapta, but what about Vincent? He headed out to Tabby’s Star just hours ago” asked Glimmer in tears. Bow hugged her and they both collapsed in the captain’s chair, defeated. Entrapta did not seem to hear her though.

“I will now be recording this into the Wormhole Experiment Log number thirty-seven. The ship, located in the Tabby’s Star system in the Cygnus galaxy, seems to be being pulled into a black hole. The accretion disk is visible and seems not to exceed 5km^3 of density, but it's exponentially growing by the second. The gravitational waves from the ripple seemed to not be strong enough to make the ship explode. The nearest star, Tabby’s Star, is averaged to be 2.844 × 10^30 kg or 1.43 solar masses. This mass would not even amount for half the required amount to produce a black hole in the case of its collapse, so this might just be a new discovery!”

“Entrapta would you mind?” interrupted Catra. “We’re trying to survive here, and I don’t think that _thing_ is planning on letting us walk away anytime soon.” As much as she had tried to sound calm and collected, her voice had betrayed her as well. She did not want to die now that she finally had Adora.

“Hordak and I are trying, but the gravitational pull is just too much. I think the best we can hope for right now is avoid collisions and definitely try to get to the ejection point unharmed. They’re our only hope at this point. We must make it to the jets without entering the black hole if you’re getting out of this alive. HORDAK, come and look at this!” Hordak’s awed face appeared next to Entrapta as he fumbled with a weird looking device. “Don’t worry guys I will take over the remote control, but if for some reason I am disconnected, aim for the beams shooting out of the ball of nothingness, they will eject you into space and away from the black hole. Do please buckle up because velocities can reach the speed of light.” She inserted the front camera’s image and pointed at a ring of light, dust, and all sorts particles in neverending movement and collisions. “So this is the bit you want to avoid, that’s the accretion disk. The collisions there generate so much heat it emits x-rays.” She then pointed to beams of intense, bluish light. “And those are the jets we want to get to. They’re perpendicular to the accretion disk so maybe we can slightly alter the course to end up in the jets without going through the accretion disk.”

The black hole had been pulling them in at an incredible speed. Entrapta lost the connection and even though Bow tried his best, there was no changing course. They embraced in a silent and teary goodbye and then boarded the escape pods: Catra, Melog, and Adora in one; and Bow and Glimmer in the other. Even if it seemed pointless at this point, they still tried escaping one last time. Entrapta’s screen appeared one last time in their escape pods. She could see Bow and Glimmer hugging as they shook with silent tears. Catra and Adora kissed as Melog transformed in the biggest creature they could think of and wrapped around the pair of them. The audio was lost, but she could see Catra’s mouth forming the words _I love you Adora, more than I have ever loved myself._ What she tried to say next Entrapta did not know, for she had finally gained access to the outside cameras. The audio came back on as tears rolled down her face. The words that escaped her mouth were breathless and panicked. 

“They have reached the Event Horizon.” With those six words, her heart shattered.


	4. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Adora, Catra and Melog arrive to Earth and have to deal with the after effects of having gone through a wormhole -but they don't know it's a wormhole-.

What followed Entrapta’s remark had been indescribable. Both because they did not have the words to do so, and because neither Catra nor Adora were conscious to register the events. Melog had wrapped tightly around them in hopes of taking the worst of the impact. Melog could feel every atom of their body aching as the internal forces of gravity tried to pull them apart into nothingness, but it suddenly just stopped.

Adora woke up coughing up smoke in the little space shuttle. Both Catra and Melog lay unconscious, the latter seemed to be bleeding profusely from a cut in their side. As she looked up, she could see that the windshield had splintered, but aside from that and the smoke, the shuttle seemed to have held up nicely to whatever had happened. She opened the door after making sure her spacesuit was intact, and around her lay a scorched piece of land. The devices installed on her suit indicated that the atmosphere was safe, so she ditched the suit and went back for the pair still in the shuttle.

“Melog? Are you awake?” she called as she felt the creature stir. There was no answer, so she tried to drag them outside. They were too heavy though, and a groan of pain escaped their snout as Adora tried picking them up. “For the Honor of Greyskull!” she proclaimed and extended her arm, expecting her sword. Nothing happened.

She tried again. Still nothing. She did not dare try a third time. Melog needed her help. She quickly got the first aid pack and approached Melog.

“It’s okay, I’m just trying to help,” she told the alien, now in the form of a big panther. She carefully caressed their snout and made soothing noises as they purred, clearly in pain. They stayed still as Adora extracted some shards of glass from their side, disinfected, and bandaged the wound. She then proceeded to help Melog out so she would have more space to maneuver while extracting her girlfriend from the ship as well. They did not know if the vessel had been too damaged to turn back on, but Adora thought it safer to evacuate it until she knew it was not going to blow up at least. 

As soon as she had gotten Catra and Melog safe within the treeline of the wooded area nearby, she sent out a distress signal to everyone. She doubted anyone would get it, but she had to push the thought away as her priority now was to keep them all alive.

She had Catra’s head on her lap as she rested after the incredible effort of carrying her and the rations to their new hiding space. Slowly but surely she began to stir and open her eyes. Adora could see her pupils were dilated almost all the way, but then contracted to tiny slits. “Adora?” Catra mumbled, very confused. Something about her voice seemed off. “Is it really you?” she said as she struggled to a sitting position.

“Yeah” answered Adora softly. “I’m here.” 

But Catra was not looking at the blonde anymore. She had fixated her gaze on Melog. “What _is_ that thing?” Her voice made Melog raise their head a weakly meow. “Why is it talking to me like that, Adora? What is this place?” She carefully got up and started backing away from them.

“Catra, it’s okay, that’s Melog. They’re our friend” she said as she carefully walked towards Catra. “I… I don’t know where we are… our shuttle crashed here, and it had been smoking a few hours ago. I got you out and was going to go back to find out if it’s safe to go back. Maybe find out if we can still access the ship’s location through the interface and contact Bow or Entrapta-”

“Entrapta? But she’s in Beast Island that can’t be- Wait, where’s the Horde? Why aren’t you with the Rebellion?” She had started to back away faster now, but stopped all of a sudden. Adora could see her muscles tense as her tail violently swinged from side to side. Catra was going to run away. 

“There’s no more Horde and no more Rebellion… the war is over, we won” she said and locking eyes with Catra, she closed the gap between the two. She gently grabbed her wrists and continued. “We can-”

“We? If the rebellion won then that means I’m a war criminal. Were you going to send me to my execution? To a higher security prison? I _killed_ people, Adora” with that Catra collapsed. She started trembling, but the tears did not come until Adora embraced her. Melog came silently padding their way and with a grunt settled by Catra. Maybe Catra did not remember them, but their connection seemed to remain. For that Adora was thankful. 

“Shhh, don’t you worry, my d-” Adora stopped. Catra did not remember them being together. She did not remember The Kiss, or all the kisses that followed. Nor could she recall all the little moments they had shared, or how they were now officially dating. Adora’s stomach plummeted and her chest ached. But she had to be there for Catra. She had to trust that her girlfriend would remember it at some point. “Don't worry Catra… I was doing none of those things. I think we should focus on getting out of here and finding our friends- or my friends, I suppose… we’ll get there.” _Oh, Catra,_ thought Adora, _what are we going to do now? How do we get your memories back?_

Adora felt Catra slowly nod while clinging to her for dear life. She knew then that their connection was still there as well. It was just the memories that were missing. Adora could live with that. However, it did not mean that her heart did not ache for the other woman. 

As the sun started to set, Catra had regained her composure. She had gone to find some water and wood for the fire, while Melog had stayed behind to rest and guard the supplies. While picking up firewood, Catra came across a glint of silver in the corner of her eye. She tried to locate the source of it, but as soon as she turned toward it, it disappeared. Catra waked in the direction the flicker had come from, but found herself at the edge of the treeline. She could see the ship in the middle of the scorched field, but there was no trace of the blonde. Adora had gone back to the ship to see if it was safe and if any of the equipment still worked, so Catra had expected to see her by the ship. She figured Adora had been inside and went back to collecting branches, twigs, leaves… anything that would help start a fire. Half an hour later, they met again at their makeshift camp.

“I uh, found these” said Catra, displaying a bunch of purple blue berries. “I don’t know if they are good for us or anything, but I saw some birds eating it…”

Adora smiled at her and could see Catra blush a bit at that. “That’s awesome Catra, we can try some of those and then collect them if they are any good.” Catra nodded. “I have some good news as well. The shuttle seems safe. The lights are a bit faulty, and the shields held up fine, but the communication device is fried. The front panel took a big hit so the location device is not great. It’s frozen in “Earth” though, so I’m guessing that’s where we’re at” concluded Adora. 

“Earth?” asked Catra. “As is _earth_ , Earth? Ha! What kind of lame name is that? Are you sure you’re not making that up, Adora?” scoffed Catra. Adora was not sure if Catra had fully recovered from her breakdown a few hours ago, but she could only hope. She also wanted to see how much of Catra’s memories remained to try and help her remember the rest. As much as she wanted to continue ignoring it herself, she knew that eventually they would have to have that conversation. And it was not going to turn out great. For the time being at least, Adora would enjoy her time with Catra.

“Oh so _you’re_ one to talk Miss _Cat_ ra the _cat_ ” teased Adora. “And what’s wrong with a planet being called Earth, huh? There is in fact earth here, lots of it in fact, so it makes sense. I was also going to suggest we head back to the ship for the night. It would be much safer… We don’t know what kind of creatures lurk around here or if they are peaceful or not.”

“We’re supposed to live in that thing? As in the tiny little thing… Together all the time?” asked Catra and Adora could have sworn she turned a light shade of pink, but it could have just been a trick of the light. When she looked at Catra again she could just see her troubled facade, her eyes looking at nothing in particular.

“Well, at least for the night… we can go outside during the day… maybe explore some” suggested Adora with a hopeful smile. “We used to do so back in the Horde…” as soon as she said it, Adora regretted even mentioning that. Catra’s face was a mask of indifference, but her ears flattened and her tail twitched. 

No one knew how to break the tense silence between them. Adora knew she had pushed too hard and now did not know how to fix this. But she was also hurt that Catra seemed to be apprehensive with the suggestion of sharing a room. She tried meeting Catra’s eyes to see what was going on the brunette’s mind, but Catra was avoiding her gaze. _What if she doesn’t feel the same way anymore?_ Thought Adora. _After all, memories make us who we are… if we lose them… if_ she _lost them, does that mean she does not love me anymore? Is the part of her that loved me lost along with her memories?_

“Are you really that opposed to the thought of sharing a room?” asked Adora, defeat in her voice. Melog came to her and rubbed against her legs. They started talking to Catra, but the latter said nothing in return. 

“Whatever, let’s just… go” said Catra as she took the bag of supplies and stormed off towards the shuttle. Catra’s thoughts were racing. She could feel that there was something off with this whole situation, but she could not figure out what that was. Adora’s behaviour had been… peculiar throughout the day. Catra could not find a reasonable explanation as to why they were not fighting, and the Horde and the Rebellion ceased to exist all of a sudden. Even if the war was over, the different sides were bound to keep separate at least. She suspected some form of memory loss, because what else would explain Adora’s and that thing… Melog’s behaviour. 

It was not like Catra did not enjoy Adora’s undivided attention. Her closeness overwhelmed her at first, but it had been what she had always longed for after all. Even if she would never admit it. But Adora being so… open and at peace with her… it unsettled her. Part of Catra thought she might be back in the portal dimension, and if that were true, she only hoped that reality would not collapse again and she could finally be with Adora… She had to figure out what was going on first, so that she knew her approach to the blonde would not be for nothing… again… 

The night had fallen by the time they were back in the ship. Melog was apparently feeling better by dinnertime. As they shared their rations in an uncomfortable silence, Adora planned how to bring up the conversation about Catra’s lost memories. As they finished eating, they tried the berries and Catra commented on enjoying the slight acidic kick of it. Adora thought them too sweet for her taste, but it could have easily been because of the contrast between the rations and the berries. She excused herself to go change Melog’s bandages, planning to talk to Catra afterwards. However, when she went back to her, she had already gone to sleep.

Discouraged, Adora took some blankets: one for herself, one for Melog, and one last one for Catra. She went to Catra, who lay in a corner alone in a fetal position. She carefully placed the blanket on her, as to not to disturb her. Adora knew Catra was not asleep, and Catra knew that Adora knew, but neither said nothing. Adora’s hand lingered for a second too long on Catra’s shoulder when she had laid the blanket, which sent shivers down the cat woman’s back. When Adora went to give Melog their blanket, Catra could feel every atom of her body screaming for Adora to come back. But as she had done all of her life -or so she thought-, she stayed put. 

Neither Adora nor Catra slept that night. Melog was the only one who managed to get some rest. They lay by Adora’s feet and would make muted sounds every now and then. It was well past midnight, when Adora knew that the question eating her insides could not remain unasked.

“Hey, Catra, are you awake?” whispered Adora from her spot on the pilot’s chair.

“No” she heard Catra answer.

“Do you mind me asking-”

“Go back to sleep, Adora,” said Catra, knowing there was no way that was happening. But she had to at least try.

“Catra, please” said Adora, “it’s… it's really important…”

“Okay, fine” replied Catra, a sudden lump on her throat. She wondered why she was so nervous now. They would spend entire nights talking while they were cadets. Even while fighting their conversations usually naturally flowed. But this was entirely different to what she was used to. She knew Adora would turn on her eventually, but why now? 

“I uhm… I don’t really know how to word this…” mumbled Adora. Catra heard her move and turned to see the blonde carefully step over Melog to join her on the floor.

“Then don't,” she simply said. Adora had sat down right next to her. They were not touching, but Catra could feel the warmth radiating from Adora. It was almost unbearable.

“I will," said Adora with conviction. “I know you picked up on the… weird energy between us and…” Adora could not believe she had uttered that last phrase. Perhaps Perfuma would be proud. 

“Energy?” scorned Catra a bit too loud. 

“Shh, you’ll wake Melog” whispered Adora and Catra rolled her eyes. “But you know what I mean. I know you do. Well… I think you’ve had some memory loss after the incident and-”

“The incident? What the fuck are you even on Adora?” replied Catra. Memory loss made a lot of sense though. That would explain a lot of things.

“Well… whatever landed us here… I don’t know either, I just know we were- No wait, Entrapta said-” Adora frowned trying to remember what had happened but her memory was betraying her. All she remembered was Entrapta warning them about the black hole and them getting on the escape pods. 

“Why do you keep bringing Entrapta up? I already told you-” said Catra on the verge of tears. There was no way those tears would fall though, she had displayed enough weakness for a lifetime already. And to Adora of all people.

“She is fine, Catra. We’re friends. Please trust me, just this once” said Adora. The pleading in her voice was something Catra despised with all her heart. She nodded just so she would not hear that tone in Adora’s voice. “Thank you, Catra,” said Adora with a small smile. “But I’m guessing it’s because of the amnesia. I don’t remember what happened either, but it seems like your memory loss is more extensive than mine. Do you remember Prime at all?” asked Adora.

“Prime?” asked Catra. “Doesn’t ring a bell.” Although she did not intend it, Adora’s face fell. Catra could tell whatever Prime was rather important. “Wait,” _could it be?_ “Do you mean Horde Prime? The guy Hordak wouldn’t shut his mouth about?”

“Yes!” said Adora excitedly. Perhaps all hope was not lost. “What do you remember about him?”

“Oh not much… just that Hordak wanted to give him Etheria, and the portal we were trying to open was to take Etheria to him. Hordak was obsessed with proving himself to the Prime guy, but aside from that, I don’t think I know much” replied thinking back on how everything had gone to shit because of the damned portal.

“Oh” was all Adora could say. Catra could tell her answer had disappointed Adora, but neither said anything. “But maybe we can talk about that in the morning,” suggested Adora. The pain in her voice was almost tangible.

“Fine by me” said Catra shrugging. She turned towards the wall to attempt-and probably fail- to sleep again.

“Do you mind if I” started Adora shily, “If I… sleep here?”

“Uhm” mumbled Catra. She could feel the heat rising to her face. She would not turn around even if her life depended on it. “Do as you please.”

“Thanks,” said Adora. She padded to the captain’s chair and retrieved her blanket and makeshift pillow. 

Neither of them thought they would sleep that night. They became increasingly aware of each other’s proximity and silently tortured themselves into not closing the distance separating them. Adora thought Catra would just drift further away if she did anything to force it. Catra was scared that the illusion would break and Adora would realise the discrepancies between the portal induced fantasy and the real world. Memory loss had been a thing with the other portal after all. At some point though, they fell asleep. It had been a long day after all.


	5. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Adora tries -and fails- to deal with everything that is going on. Catra, despite her amnesia and confusion as to what is going on, tries to help Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains scenes with explicitly written panic attacks and self harm.

The following days went by quite uncomfortably for Adora. She could tell that Catra sensed her unease, but as much as she tried pushing it out -for the sake of a healthy interaction-, it was near impossible. The more time passed, the less she could ignore the fact that the woman she loved could not remember their time together. It was not all bad though, as Catra had accepted the fact that there were no Hordes or Rebellions to keep them apart anymore. 

They, however, had not discussed the lost memories anymore. No more than necessary, anyways. Adora had failed to mention the fact that they had been together at all because she could not bring herself to say it. If Catra did not believe it, she knew it would slowly kill her, and even if she could feel it slowly eating her alive, she kept that bit to herself.  _ It’s for the best _ , she kept telling herself. Catra might start remembering little by little, and if that were the case, it would only do more harm than good having her stress about everything then. And if she did not, it would just be a new beginning for them… right? Adora tried her best to not admit that as a possibility though, despite slowly realising this was the most probable outcome. Adora knew Catra continued to be haunted by her past mistakes, by the torture she had endured at Prime´s hands… Perhaps without those… Catra could truly be happy eventually. The problem was that Catra had forgotten all the good she had done as well, and none of the really scarring shit she had taken part in.

Some nights Adora worried the new Catra that might result from her memory loss might not be the same as  _ her _ Catra, and she was unsure as to what to think of it. She obviously did not like it. She was terrified of losing her and all they had. She wondered if the circumstances had been the key player of them having the relationship they had, and not just their feelings for each other. If so… what would happen now, when the circumstances were so different? Every single time she woke up next to Catra, Adora told herself that it would be alright in the end, whatever the outcome. It had to be…

But despite Adora trying to force herself to be optimistic, she could see that things were far from ideal. The whole deal was taking a toll on Melog, who, though healing from their injury, seemed out of sorts lately. Adora wished she could understand them sometimes. Before they had been stranded on Earth, she could swear she could understand bits and pieces of Catra and Melog´s conversations sometimes. But now, she could just sense the alien was… off. Which meant Catra was as well. But it was all so complicated, Adora wished there would be a magic solution to set everything right. 

The constant weight and helplessness of the situation had started to interfere with her daily activities. She could no longer collect supplies without Catra having to come check on her. Adora tended to lose herself when alone in the wilderness, but she also refused to let Catra accompany her.

“I’m just saying, Adora… Maybe it would be more efficient if we both went and got the berries by the creek” said Catra, unsure as to how to word her suggestion without sounding like she was criticising Adora’s inefficiency.

“But who would stand guard?” shot back Adora, knowing the answer to her question was staring right back at her, with a rather exasperated look at that.

“Melog could-”

“But what if someone shows up and-”

“Melog could shapeshift into… something!” replied Catra losing her temper. Melog seemed to yowl in agreement. A tense silence followed as Adora tried to come with a better excuse as to why she should just be left alone. There wasn’t one that did not involve the overbearing truth of having to deal with Catra’s amnesia, Melog, and being stranded alone on a strange planet for an indefinite time -maybe forever-.

“But… Melog can’t talk, what if-”

“We both know the problem isn’t Melog, Adora,” said Catra, and the softness of her voice surprised the blonde. “I think we need to talk this over.”

That had astounded Adora. She knew that Catra had accepted the situation after a couple of days, but this… this was a first. Catra wanting to talk about feelings? Even more surprising was that this was a Catra who did not remember all of Perfuma’s “lessons” on how to deal with emotions and trauma. _ Perhaps she’s starting to remember,  _ thought Adora, but then tried to shake the thought away. She did not need false hope right now.

“Uh, I just need a minute,” she said as she fled the ship and went towards the woods. She could hear Catra calling her as she followed, but then the footsteps behind stopped.  _ Alone at last,  _ thought Adora, but the feeling did not bring comfort, just dread.

The blue eyed woman sat on a fallen tree. She kept mumbling  _ For the Honor of Greyskull _ , as if half expecting something to happen. But nothing did. It was just one more thing to worry about on top of everything else. She-Ra seemed to have vanished as well, and with her, possibly all hope. She could not bring magic to this planet, she could not bring back Catra’s memories, she could not find her friends -or even know if they were even alive-... She could not even get a grip on herself. As she sat with her head between her knees, she tried to keep her breaths even. She wondered how she used to deal with this before.

All of a sudden, her breathing exercises were instantly forgotten. Adora heard twigs snap nearby and she quickly tore a decaying branch out of the tree to use as a makeshift weapon… just in case. It had been very foolish of her having just left without any protection or supplies.

“Hey, relax,” Adora heard Catra’s familiar voice, “it’s just me. Are you okay?”

Adora threw away the stick. She had been about to strike the love of her life. She was truly slowly losing it. She looked at Catra’s eyes and her gaze must have said it all. Adora hoped so at least, because she could not voice her woes. Only when Catra held her hand did Adora notice she had been trembling. Soon, she found herself being embraced. Catra tried her best to soothe her, but Adora could not understand. 

Catra must love her, or at least still care for her. But she could not know for sure. Though it was true that Catra was the one thing tethering Adora to reality, she was also the reason why she kept spiralling in these pits of despair. Not that Catra was to blame for this, but Adora’s feelings for her and inability to deal with them were. 

Adora lost track of time. All she knew was that they had ended up sitting by the fallen tree. Catra was holding Adora, and her fur tickled Adora’s face with every breath she took. It was kind of damp from the tears she had shed, but now Adora knew peace at last. Her incessant thoughts had been momentarily quieted by Catra’s almost imperceivable purrs.

“Hey, Catra?” asked Adora. Her throat was dry and her voice was hoarse.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t you wish you had your memories?” 

“Don’t worry about that, Adora.” Adora could not tell if Catra had said that dismissively or if she meant it to sound reassuring.

“But… I do… don’t you?” she tried again.

“Honestly? I’m not sure I want them back…” said Catra quietly. Adora turned to face the brunette, but Catra was staring off into the distance.

“What?” Adora rose. The note of indignation too evident to hide.

“It’s just… knowing me… It’s probably something worth forgetting. I wouldn’t be surprised if- If it were something really fucked up I did and can’t ever forget, you know? Like, maybe I forgot it for a reason and am… better off without it?” tried Catra.

“Well… there was some fucked up shit… But it-”

“See? I told you!” said Catra sadly.

“But it wasn’t you that- Anyways it wasn’t all bad either! We-” Adora tried. If only she could get a grip and finish her ideas she could convince Catra to properly discuss this. But Catra was now purposefully avoiding Adora’s eyes.

“Well, I don’t want to, okay?” When Catra caught a glance of Adora’s hurt expression, she quickly added. “I can’t remember, anyways… So like, why bother?”

“Why  _ bother?  _ Catra, I-”Adora reconsidered it. Perhaps telling her would only confuse her further. “Nevermind that, I think I just need some time to myself.”

With that, she once again left. She knew she was reverting back to her old ways, but she was so utterly lost and confused. Everything she had counted on for support had been torn away. But everything started quickly rushing to her head and now a staggering wave of guilt consumed her.

Catra could not possibly choose to have her memories back, could she? So why was Adora just blaming her for not wanting to remember? She was not being fair to Catra at all, and it was all her fault. And before she could fix things up, she just ran away from everything. Even though she knew she was just making things more difficult for everyone, she kept telling herself she just needed to clear her mind. 

As she rushed past the foliage, a branch managed to scratch Adora’s cheek. She violently pushed it away, and it just came back to whip her face. In her frustration, she broke it, and started hitting the tree with her bare fists. Every muscle in her body complained as she poured every ounce of her remaining energy into the tree. At first her knuckles and wrists screamed in agony every time they connected with the tough bark. After some twenty hits, they had numbed, and yet Adora still continued, despite her shredded skin and aching muscles. She seemed to have been possessed by this overpowering range that had come out of nowhere. As far as she knew, she had been consumed with confusion and fear, not anger. It did not matter then. Adora had nothing in her mind. For some reason, her body had decided on its own that she was to tear the tree down with only the power of her fists. 

Adora did not hear Catra behind her. She did not hear the gasp the brunette gave as she looked in horror at the bloody mess Adora had become. Nor did she hear Catra shout her name over and over telling her to stop. She could just feel Catra’s hands around her waist trying to get her way from the tree. Adora stood her ground, but stopped punching. For a while they just stayed like that: the brunette had her arms around the taller woman, her head rested on Adora’s shoulder. The blonde could not see Catra’s face but she could feel her tears. She had spiralled out of control and hated herself for upsetting the other woman. But now she just felt that every bit of energy she had left had evaporated. 

Adora collapsed upon the ground when Catra could not hold her anymore. Her knees took the direct hit, but she did not feel it. For a moment she stayed there, numb and confused. But soon after, Adora started registering every aching muscle in her body. Her hands were on fire. Her lungs were as well: they would not let enough air in to breathe properly. The one thing holding her together seemed to be Catra’s arms around her. The only sound in the world was Catra’s stifled sobs and whispers of Adora’s name. Adora knew Catra was saying something else, but she could not understand it. Her ears were ringing and her heart was racing, and her shallow and quick breaths seemed to overtake the blonde as she trembled uncontrollably in Catra’s arms.

All of a sudden, the hairs in Adora’s neck stood on end. Rooted in place, all her senses heightened in a second. It was dizzying, being hyper aware of everything so suddenly after being detached from everything just a second ago. But Adora knew why that had been. She could hear the undergrowth being crushed noisily. Catra stood, her eyes alert. Her tail moved back and forth stiffly, her ears moved in different directions, most likely trying to pinpoint the source of the disturbance. They had left Melog in the ship, so, who could it possibly be? Has their presence on this strange planet finally been discovered by the locals?

Catra had stood in front of Adora protectively as the thunderous rustling intensified. Adora adopted a fighting stance, even though in her current state, she could not have fought her own shadow. The world became still for a moment. Adora blinked and stepped forward so she could stand beside Catra. Their hands brushed against each other and an electric current passed between them in that instant. Adora flinched at the pain in her hand, but refused to back down. She had to protect Catra no matter what. Both positioned themselves in the defensive position they had trained to adopt so long ago in the Horde. They were pure instinct and adrenaline at that moment, tensions building fast, ready to pounce the second the source of the noise showed itself.

Catra tried to angle her body so that if attackers were to come near them, she would be able to shield Adora from the blow. And just as she could no longer stay still and was vibrating in anticipation, it happened. She had heard the argument for maybe a minute or two before, but now the two voices were  _ there.  _ They would reach Adora and her any second now, and Catra had to fight with every bit of her soul to stay rooted in place. Her instincts screamed that they should flee, that Adora was in no shape to fight and would be a hindrance if a fight did break out. But no, Catra knew it was too late for flight, and there was no way in hell she would leave Adora behind. So she stayed. She was not losing her. She was not risking it. 

Catra saw the foliage move and was in the process of gathering momentum for a leap straight into the attackers’ jugular when she saw a flash of pink and gold. Those were  _ not _ colours she expected in an ambush. Catra could feel her brain trying to connect the colours with… with  _ something _ . She knew they were familiar… but how? In her moment's hesitation, the intruders had left the cover of the bushes and were just… standing there?

“ _ Sparkles?! _ ”

“ _ Glimmer?  _ Bow!” exclaimed Adora at the same time. Her voice was raspy with emotion, and despite it being definitely not the best moment to be harboring these thoughts, Catra could not help herself...  _ Damn that girl is hot. _ But no, Adora was going through an extremely hard time, and Catra was supposed to  _ protect _ her not… not  _ lust _ over her. She was supposed to stay with her, hold her, and make her feel safe.  _ Focus, Catra, focus  _ she thought to herself and shook her head in hopes the thought would leave her mind.

“Adora! Catra!” proclaimed Bow and Glimmer in unison. They were positively elated. Until they saw what state Adora was in, that is. As their gaze focused on her puffy, red eyes, bloodied and swollen fists and just general unkempt appearance, their smiles faded. 

Catra retreated a couple steps when the newly arrived pair advanced towards them. She instinctively protected Adora with her body, but the puzzled and questioning look Glimmer gave her made her stare at the ground. She recognised the bitterness of shame instantly. She was ashamed Adora’s friends found her like this. They are probably going to question her until they torture the information out of her. She could not keep Adora from hurting herself as much as she did, and they would most definitely blame her for it. Catra already blamed herself anyways, so what did these people matter anyways.

But they did matter. Adora cared about them, and if she was going to have a go with confessing her feelings for her at any point, she had to be in good graces with Sparkles and Arrow Boy. Catra was off to a terrible start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for everyone who's reading! I wanted to apologise for this shorter chapter, but i just had to keep the word count at an exact number... I had gone over my initial limit of 3k words per chapter in Cygnus Bound, and since I personally find this chapter too emotionally charged, I had decided to make it a bit shorter to compensate for the aforementioned entry. Thank you so much for the kudos and hits, really. And please know I am here if you have any questions, suggestions, or anything. Also , you can find me in Tumble @ roldennsteart, if you ever want to talk :)


	6. Tête-À-Tête

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Catra has a long overdue conversation with Melog, while Boew and Glimmer try to get Adora to take a nap.

As soon as they got over the initial shock of the situation, Bow and Glimmer had come to carefully embrace Adora and Catra. The latter could not have been more confused, but the suddenness of it all -and all her worry towards Adora´s frail body- had prevented Catra from reacting to her sworn enemies just hugging her like that. It felt nice though, even if she refused to admit it. Adora´s embraces were comforting and warm, but she could sense something off about them. This hug felt different, and though nothing would ever top Adora´s demonstrations of affection, Catra had to admit this hug felt like it held nothing back and it was just pure and genuine.

It did not last. The second she noticed Adora wince, she quickly got Adora´s arm around her neck to support her weight.  _ This idiot couldn't just shout at a tree could she?  _ Thought Catra,  _ She just had to go and break her body to the point of… well this! She can't even stand on her own. _ Catra knew she was not going to be able to carry Adora back to the shuttle. She was strong, but Adora had gained a lot of weight -mostly muscle- since she last remembered being able to carry her around. Catra wondered when that was, but could not think of when that had been. It did not matter anyways, Catra just hoped she could carry her, to let Adora rest for once. Not because she wanted to carry Adora for no reason. Again, she found herself having to remind herself not to get distracted.

“Here, let me take her” offered Bow, he looked at her with a semblance that somehow managed to convey an unspoken inquiry and judgement. Catra just nodded and averted her gaze. 

Catra led them to the meadow. At first, Bow had tried to start up a conversation, but gave up after Catra´s monosyllabic answers. Adora tried to participate in the conversation as well, but eventually, her body just gave up and she passed out in Bow´s arms. Glimmer and Bow kept exchanging pointed glances, so Catra decided to quicken her pace so she would not have to deal with them. As they neared their destination, she felt Melog’s distress. She still was not sure what was the deal with them. They had clearly stated that they were both emotionally bound after Catra had stumbled upon their layer, but Catra had no recollection of such event. She might have, but it was lost along with around two years’ worth of her memories. 

Either way, Catra knew that eventually, she would have to talk things through with Melog. The wall of silence she had built between them was taking a toll for both of them. Catra started suspecting that if things had gone differently, Adora would not have ended up beating her fists raw like she had done. Now that Glimmer and Bow were there, they could take care of Adora, while she went off to venture in her long list of unsolved issues. They might even be thankful that she planned to get out of their hair…

When they arrived at the escape pod, Catra announced that she would be heading out with Melog, except, she had not expected Melog to be all over Glimmer and Bow like they did. Nor did she expect them to refuse to leave when she insisted they have the long overdue talk Melog kept insisting on having.

“Oh Melog, we missed you too and just as much!” cooed Glimmer as Melog bunted her heavily as if they could not help themself. They were radiating joy and relief, and Catra felt some of it be absorbed by herself. She kept her distance though, she knew better than to get close to Glimmer. Bow was not as much of a threat as the pink haired woman was, not unless she attacked anyways. But the knowledge of having killed Glimmer´s mother still haunted her to this day. She knew everything she had done was because she had been so obstinately set on destroying Adora -because she could not admit her feelings for her. But looking back to everything that she had done, it was just easier playing the villainous role. Even if she were to apologise and admit she was wrong -which was a huge  _ if _ because she would rather die than do so-, it was just too much. Her sins were far too many and too grave to deserve forgiveness.

After Melog had finished greeting the newcomers -a welcoming that ended because the alien feline had accidentally knocked Bow over in an “embrace”-, Catra tried again.

“ _ Melog, I really think we should talk.” _

_ “But I am still greeting Bow and Glimmer! If you were to translate it would be so much easier to get the message across,... Why is it so hard for you to cooperate?”  _ The alien´s mane started turning a shade of orange, indicating their growing frustration and irritation.

_ “I know… I just… I just really need to talk about it, and I think so do you”  _ insisted Catra, but she could feel Melog beginning to yield to her request.

Just as they were about to quietly sneak out of the ship, Adora woke up. She should not have been able to with all the emotional and physical exertion she had gone through just hours ago, but there she was, slowly rising, eyes searching for Catra. Catra did not know why she thought Adora would be looking for her, it was most likely wishful thinking… But perhaps it was not, and who was going to blame her for fantasising about her feelings being requited anyways. There was no way Adora would see her of course, since Melog had turned both of them invisible.

Still, the thought made her hesitate for a fraction of a second. She wanted to stay and comfort her, and tend to her wounds, and provide the support Adora needed, even if she did not know exactly how to do that. But then Catra reminded herself that Bow and Glimmer were there. They were surely infinitely better friends than Catra ever was. They knew how to deal with feelings, so it was better to leave it to them. Catra knew that the pair would take good care of Adora, so she turned and jumped down to the scorched land. Some green blades of grass were already visible amongst the burned remains, and Catra could not help but admire how admirable nature was at times like these. She turned once more to see Bow and Glimmer trying to wrestle Adora to the chair so she could take a nap. After that, she started walking towards the creek nearby, with Melog following close behind.

_ “Soooo…”  _ said Catra after she sat on a rock. She suddenly had no idea how to have this conversation with what was essentially her very own support shape-shifting alien.

_ “The conversation”  _ stated Melog. It almost sounded like sarcasm.

_ “Yeah… that.” _

_ “Mhm, the one about your lost memories and how bad you're dealing with your feelings for Adora.”  _ Melog was far from amused, but Catra knew there was no malice in their words. If anyone else had said it Catra would have thought otherwise.

_ “Yeah… well, about that… I don't see what the big deal about my memories is, like I´m the same old Catra aren’t I?” _

_ “Not really. You’re not behaving like the Catra I know”  _ replied Melog. Catra was taken aback. 

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “Well, you used to be much more open about your feelings for once. You used to like me, and treat me like a companion more than… an annoying hindrance. Adora and you were-” _

_ “I don’t want to know about that,”  _ Catra said. She did not want to know how they were probably fighting or worse…  _ fucking _ . The mere thought of it made her blush and lose her train of thought. She knew that that if the latter were true, she would have been constantly hoping for something more while Adora probably just wanted sex.

_ “But why?”  _ Asked Melog. When she failed to answer they asked again.  _ “Why are you so afraid of talking to me, or Adora, or anyone? If only you’d let us help you remember-” _

_ “But I don't want to, Melog! It's not that big a deal, maybe I will remember eventually, maybe I won’t, but up until today, Adora and I were growing closer, and I’d much rather have this than… whatever we had”  _ said Catra, but omitted the  _ I guess _ . Melog sensed her doubt, but thankfully did not comment on it.

_ “Then, tell her already. Don’t you see it’s affecting her so much?” _

_ “Wait, how do you know that, Melog? What is affecting her so much?”  _ Catra was taken completely off guard. Could it be that they had somehow found a way to communicate with each other without her knowledge?

_ “You being so distant and refusing so much as acknowledge your amnesia is hurting her, Catra… Do you really not realise?” _

_ “Do you… talk to her?”  _ Asked Catra, her blood going cold. 

_ “You are well aware of the fact that I cannot talk with her, but we can communicate without exchanging words, if that’s what you mean. She tells me things, and I try to comfort her, it’s as easy as that.” _

Catra did not answer right away. She was somehow relieved Melog could not talk with Adora. But knowing that she was the reason for the blonde’s suffering was slowly eating her. Why was it that even when she was trying to help, she kept hurting those she loved?

_ “I didn’t know it was that… But what if she just rejects me, what will I do then, Melog? You know it would completely destroy me. What if I’m just misreading her, and all she wants is her friend back?” _

Melog just looked at Catra, but the woman could feel Melog’s frustration sizzling like electricity. Their energy was contagious as she soon found her despair turning into vexation. Melog of all beings should be able to understand her, so why could they not?

_ “You may not remember this, but we´ve been through this already. The stakes were higher, you were about to walk out on the one good thing in your life. But you made the right choice. Even if you don’t have your memories, I trust you will make the right choice,”  _ said Melog, and for some reason that  _ trust  _ sounded too much like  _ hope. _

_ “Okay” _ muttered Catra. She was still unsure as to what to do, but this conversation had changed things. She was hurting Adora, and she had to change that, make up for it, and somehow find a way to do everything without fucking up.  _ “Should we head back then?” _

“How can I possibly rest with Catra out there? What if she ran away? Or worse, what if they kidnapped her and are dissecting her to see what kind of alien she is?” Rambled on Adora. She was being held down by Bow, who refused to let her stand. 

“She said she’s heading out with Melog, Adora” said Bow, but Adora could hear the slight hesitation in his voice. He had noticed too.

“Yeah, she wouldn’t just leave like that. She has grown a lot since… well everything- Would you stay still, please?” Glimmer complained as she tried to bandage Adora’s hand.

“It  _ hurts.  _ I can’t help it if I flinch, Glimmer. And you don’t get it, she basically forgot everything about us, and Prime, and making amends, and she doesn't even want to remember!” replied Adora as she tried not to flinch again. 

“What do you mean she doesn’t remember anything about you? She can't just delete you from her memory can she?” Bow’s concern was plain in his facade.

“Well, not…  _ everything  _ everything. More like everything since the whole Prime ordeal. So she seems to remember everything up until… Well, I´m not sure up until where exactly… it has been a very difficult topic to cover. But I think it's sometime before Etheria was portalled out of Despondos. I don’t think she has any recollection of Glimmer and Prime and space…” 

“So… is this what’s bothering you so much?” Asked Glimmer. Bothering was the understatement of the century, but Adora suspected they were willing to sugarcoat her current state this once just because they had found her so broken.

“Well… mostly, I suppose it’s also Melog and the fact that She-Ra might be gone again. Also I had no idea if you guys were alive, it seems like the communicator isn’t working” replied Adora. Saying tt out loud and to her best friends seemed right, but she had expected some of the weight off her shoulders as it had done before. But for some reason this burden seemed to cling to her beat up body.

“Wait a minute…” said Bow, “are you distracting us so you can skip your much needed nap? No, you won´t young lady. Go rest right now!”

“Where… am I supposed to  _ go _ ?” Adora motioned to the shuttle. The place was big enough to probably hold all five of them, but just barely. The control panel and chairs took up most of the cabin and the small portion of bare floor available was littered with Catra’s stuff. 

“Uh… I don´t know… just rest, Adora” said Bow, defeated. 

“I will, I promise, “ said Adora. Both of her friends looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Once I find Catra.” Adora knew they would not like that part, but she also hoped they would get it and help her find Catra.

“No, Adora, you should rest, and I will go look for her. Glimmer will stay with you and make sure you stay put” said Bow.

“I can't teleport here either” said Glimmer, “but that doesn’t mean I will not drag your ass back here if you dare cross that door before having some proper rest.

“That’s no fair,” pouted Adora, “you know how much she means to me.”

“What isn’t fair is you torturing your body like this. Just look at yourself! I wonder how are you even conscious? You haven’t been sleeping well, I can see it in your eyes, so don’t pretend otherwise. You are internalising everything and trying to use the physical pain you inflict upon yourself to cope. But none of that is healthy! It’s light years away from good! But we are here now, and we will help you, so let us do it, Adora. Please,” said Glimmer.

“Okay” was all Adora said. She trusted Bow to track down Catra. Glimmer would surely do her best to nurse her back to a mostly alright person. The best thing she could do then was to get better and then help them out. Adora also made a mental note to remind herself to ask them what had happened to them and how they ended up finding Adora, Catra and Melog. But as her eyelids started to close shut, she thought they should probably include Catra in that recollection… maybe it could help her remember something.

The blonde did not know for how long she had slept. Bow had left at dusk, but now all she could see was the glow of the single moon shining through a cloudy sky. She suddenly remembered what had awoken her: Catra. Adora could not discern if the brunette had been a part of a dream or real life, but all she knew was that she sensed her.

Glimmer had fallen asleep next to her and Adora felt the younger woman's hand on her shoulder, tangled up on her hair. Perhaps she had been trying to take out all the twigs and leaves from it. Adora could only guess how much of it was on her hair after her brawl with the innocent tree. She was thankful for the fact that plants did not seem to be sentient beings on this planet, because the last thing she needed was an angry ten foot tree seeking revenge. Carefully, she got Glimmer’s hand off of her and silently padded to the door.

As soon as she set foot on the grass, she saw Glimmer had jerked awake. Before she could command her aching bones to make a quick escape, Glimmer had already closed the distance between them and was holding Adora by the wrist. Adora involuntarily yelped at the touch, but Glimmer just grabbed her elbow. A rustling was heard in the nearby bushes, but neither paid it any notice.

“What the actual fuck, Adora? Could you please explain what on Earth are you doing out here at this time?” 

“What on Earth?” asked Adora. 

“I don’t know, we heard so many people use that phrase while we travelled to meet you here… but you know what I mean.” scolded Glimmer, less severely this time.

“I think I just saw Catra, I just had-”

“Adora, you were dreaming. Let’s go back inside.”

“What if she came back and she’s out there?”

“Bow’ll find her and bring her in,” said Glimmer, her voice heavy with sleep.

“But-”

“Come on, Adora. I’m tired,” Glimmer complained, her whisper getting louder.

“UGH, okay, FINE. I will just leave her out there tonight then” she said loudly. Glimmer shushed her, but Adora had meant the entire meadow to hear her, had meant Catra to hear her from wherever she was hiding, so Catra would know that running out like that was not okay at all. 

The problem was that Catra did hear her, and she turned back. So all Adora could do, despite Glimmer´s pleads, was fight her screaming muscles as she ran behind the woman she loved. Melog said something to Catra and she slowed her pace. Catra was no longer trying to run away, but Adora did not seem to realise it. Her body kept taking her at full speed until she crashed into Catra and collapsed on top of the cat woman.


End file.
